The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
