Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
