apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
that's an acceptable place to lick
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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