they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
