FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize