Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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