So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize