I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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