another moral hangover. fuck.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
