i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
