Can i not drive my cunt home
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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