Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
