Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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