I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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