tell your sister to shave her snatch
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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