her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
