Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
