I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
