Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
