Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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