I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize