I'm lost and stupid without you.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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