i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
