so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
