idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
