I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
