So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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