You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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