this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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