She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
