wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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