I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
