I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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