My brain says no but my pants say off.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Couch. On fire.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
