i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
