I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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