How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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