i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize