P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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