Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
