This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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