I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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