Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My pussy is not your playground.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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