i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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