Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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