Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Oh god it's open bar.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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