Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize