i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm really busy with my period
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