Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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