Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just forgot I was standing up.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize