is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
