If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
