I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
