We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
