I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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