I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
