Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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