So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
