Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
