She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
