apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
