I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
