He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
