What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
