Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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