At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's shark week go big or go home
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
