i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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